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If I’m being honest…

Life. It’s the summary of everything. It’s who we were, am, and will be. I am by no means an expert. Nor do I claim to have all the answers, but I know how to live through some things. I also know when to seek more qualified advice; and by that I mean ask old(er) people I still like. I am a wife, mom, educator of sorts and the honest friend. Most people that stick around me appreciate the brutal honesty I dish out. I don’t pretend to like things I don’t, I don’t agree just because, I swear, and make hilariously inappropriate jokes. Which brings me to the point of this post: Why is it so hard to just be honest?

Seriously, I know conversational honesty can be offensive and sometimes ill-timed. But doesn’t it cut through all the bullshit? Who wants to spend their time figuring out what another’s comment meant?  Case in point: at a dinner party, post-dinner. The host yawns and asks the time. It’s 8:30. I completely get the indirect signal and begin the exit procedures. I understand the concept of politeness and etiquette. But it seems so… ambiguous. Can we just preset a time of exiting if needed? Or “Hey, I’m sorry but I’m crashing.” Now as I reflect, I wonder – did I misread the signal (if one even existed)? Are they wondering why I just up and left? Did I leave too soon? I need to google “appropriate time to stay after dinner.” Was I boring? Nah, couldn’t have been that…right?

I have come to learn that some people are just not equipped to speak honesty. Some need the candy coated shell of conversational social graces in order to process through the given situation. But even in the world of candy, the shell – while sometimes palatable – is just a thin layer separating your taste buds from the REAL objective. Unless we are talking War Heads, in which case, the best part is the outer-most layer, but I digress.  We are not in the day of curtsies, hoop-skirts and the kissing of hands. Can we all just be a little more direct? You know I will be.

*Melina Pearl*